Long Goodbye
by Sheyna-osirissystemlady
Summary: SJ. She's said yes. Now what are they going to do?
1. Chapter 1

The Long Goodbye

Chapter 1

**Spoilers – **Beginning of the series to season 8.

**Rating – **PG

**Season – **8

**Pairings – **If I'm nice and this ends happily, Sam and Jack. If I'm not nice, well we'll have to see.

**Disclaimer – **I do not own Stargate SG-1 or any songs by Ronan Keating.

**Author's Notes – **Sam and Jack should be together. Pete should be out of the picture. Some people are being nice and calm and saying that if Sam ends up with Pete then so be it. I don't do calm. David DeLuise is a great actor, he really is, but Pete deserves a swift kick up the arse! Who here would not like to push that character off a very high, steep cliff with some sharp and pointy rocks at the bottom. Honestly. Anyway. Enjoy and review. Osiris.

Jack sat in his office. Staring at the wall. Come to think of it, it wasn't even a very nice wall. Grey. Why did it have to be grey anyway? But that wasn't why he was staring at the wall. She'd said yes. In normal circumstances that would have made him very happy. But she hadn't said yes to him. She'd said yes to Pete. Okay, so he wasn't technically allowed to be with her, and she had a right to move on with her life. But what about him?

Selfishly, Jack thought of himself, and what the rest of his life would be now that he could never be with her.

"I know I know they say if you love somebody  
you should set them free.

But it sure is hard to do.  
Yeah, it sure is hard to do."

Set her free? How could he? He knew…he knew he had to. But why? What right did Pete have to have her? None. He didn't deserve someone so perfect. But then again, who said Jack did? He knew he had to let her go. It was too hard. He wanted with all his might to keep her. To hold her.

"And I know they say if they don't come back again  
then it's meant to be.  
But those words ain't pulling me through,  
cos I'm still in love with you."

He was still in love with her. He couldn't stop loving her. Nothing could stop that feeling. He knew, deep inside that Carter would never break up with Pete now. But he wished, he hoped that she would. That she'd come back to him. Meant to be. Ha! He knew it wasn't. And even if it was how, did that possibly help him. Selfish again. So Carter's happy. But what about him? He wasn't happy. He wasn't content. He was distraught. Torn apart by the love he felt for her.

"I spend each day here waiting for a miracle  
But it's just you and me going through the mill.  
Climbin' up a hill."

Sitting each day in his office. Hoping, wishing, desperately praying that something would turn back time and allow him to tell Carter how he felt. He'd had so many chances. He'd let her leave it in the room (like that was what he wanted). He hadn't told her when they'd had their memories stamped. He hadn't told her when they'd been cured after they'd been touched. He'd gone as far as hugging her when they thought they'd lost Daniel that first time, but he hadn't said anything. He hadn't told her when the other Carter came through the Quantum Mirror. And those were only a few examples.

"This is the long goodbye  
Somebody tell me why  
Two lovers in love can't make it  
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart"

Why does the Air Force do this to them? After all they've done for them. Don't they owe them one? They should be allowed to tell each other how they feel. If she even feels the same way. Surely this isn't love. Love is supposed to be happy. Why isn't it? This type of love hurts. It's painful.

"No matter how hard I try  
You're gonna make me cry  
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it  
All that's happening here is a long goodbye"

He could put the strong man act on all he wanted. But he hurt deep down. Like Someone had stabbed him in the heart whilst he was in a sarcophagus. Like that goa'uld. He knew he could never be with her.

"Sometimes I ask my heart did we really  
Give our love a chance  
and I know without a doubt  
I turned it inside out"

He knew he never gave it a chance. He never could. Rules stopped him. Damn himself! Why did he follow rules? He didn't even follow all of them. But that one. Why did he have to follow that one? He could have broken it. But he didn't. He couldn't. Because he wouldn't be the only one at risk. He'd risk he losing her job and he wouldn't do that to her. He could have quit though. But he loved his job. More than Carter? He didn't know.

"And if we walked away  
would make more sense  
But it tears me up inside  
Just to think we still could try  
How long must we keep riding on a carousel  
going round and round and never getting anywhere"

He should have walked away before he got in so deep. The moment he saw her he knew she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He should have walked away then and their. But he stayed there. And now he couldn't rip himself away from her. He hated that she went on missions without him. He could lose her so easily. But isn't that what was happening now she had accepted Pete's proposal?

"This is the long goodbye  
Somebody tell me why  
Two lovers in love can't make it  
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?  
No matter how hard I try  
You're gonna make me cry  
Come on, baby, it's over, Let's face it  
All that's happening here is the long goodbye"

He'd lost her forever. No turning back. No hope that he could be with her. Nothing. Only a bitter empty hole in his heart. A permanent hole. No chance that she could ever fill it any more. He rested his head on his arms. She didn't love him. A tear trickled down his cheek. She didn't love him. He sobbed. She wasn't his. She didn't love him. But he loved her. With all his broken, torn heart, he loved her. More than anything. More than his job. He saw that now. He should have quit. God, he loved her.

"The long goodbye  
The long goodbye"

She sat in her lab. Head on her arms. Tears trickling down her cheeks. She sobbed. What had she done? What had he done? Why hadn't he tried to stop her? Why had she said yes? Why did Jack not tell her he loved her? Tell he didn't want her to marry Pete? Didn't he love her? She loved him.

****


	2. Chapter 2

The Long Goodbye

Chapter 2

**Review Thanks – **

· candlewick866: Er… calm down. I'm writing as fast as I can. I wanted to wait and make sure people wanted to have another chapter. I hope you enjoy this one.

· shiny silver grl: I'm writing more right now. Glad you enjoyed the first chapter.

· liclough: I had to ask. It wouldn't be fair to write if everyone hated it. Yes Sam is dumb! Glad someone else noticed! She shouldn't even think! She should just say no to Pete!

· froggy0319: Yay! A volunteer! Don't ever leave stuff up to me. I am totally incapable of making my own decisions.

· Sci Fi Fan Gillian: As always, thank you for reviewing. It's appreciate it.

· SG1-Fanfic: I do love torturing people. I really do. But never on matters concerning Sam and Jack! They HAVE to end up together by the time (in the far distant future when we are all old and wrinkly) the series has ended.

· Athena: Even though you technically weren't reviewing and I have e-mailed you, thanks again for letting me know who Kerry is. Everyone should read your fics. They're really good.

**Author's Notes – **So, yeah, anyone else that's reviewed the other chapter, thank you. Keep reviewing. I hope this is the ending you all wanted. If not, you are welcome to attempt to persuade me to write another chapter. This chapter is for one of my two best friends (Casz-me-bob) 'cos this is her favourite song. If I'm not quiet at the beginning of the song I will get thumped. So this is for you Caszy. On with the story:

"Sometimes late at night  
I lie awake and watch her sleeping  
She's lost in peaceful dreams  
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark."

He used to watch her sleeping. When he could still go on missions with her. He'd stay awake for hours just watching her body rise and fall with each peaceful breath she took. He'd imagine what she was dreaming. Lying there, in a dark, cold tent, eyes closed, and fall asleep dreaming of what she was dreaming.

"And the thought crosses my mind  
If I never wake up in the morning  
Would she ever doubt the way I feel  
About her in my heart."

Sitting there, alone, in his office he considered what it would be like without her. He'd be distraught. Then he wondered if she still loved him. Sure she was marrying Pete, but did she still have any feelings at all for him? He decided it was best if he went in believing that she did. Then he worried about what would happen if she went on a mission and came back to find him gone. For whatever reason. What if the SGC had been attacked by Baal? She would come back and he'd be dead. She wouldn't know how he felt!

"If tomorrow never comes  
Will she know how much I loved her  
Did I try in every way to show her every day  
That she's my only one  
And if my time on earth were through  
And she must face this world without me  
Is the love I gave her in the past  
Gonna be enough to last  
If tomorrow never comes."

He'd be dead and she wouldn't know. She might suspect. They did admit it to each other once. They'd touched on it since. But he had never told her just how much he loved her. He never said "Sam I love you more than my life." Mostly because he didn't know himself. But he knew now. She didn't. She could die not knowing. He couldn't bear that thought. He knew that she would live knowing he felt…something. But she wouldn't know what. She might forget. She had to know how much he loved her.

"'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life  
Who never knew how much I loved them  
Now I live with the regret  
That my true feelings for them never were revealed."

He'd lost Charlie. The last thing he'd done was to tell him that he was too busy to play catch. Then there was a bang. And Charlie was gone. Not knowing just how much Jack loved him. He wished so much that he could have told him that he loved him. But to live his death again would be too painful. He had a chance with Carter. She could still know how he felt.

"So I made a promise to myself  
To say each day how much she means to me  
And avoid that circumstance  
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel."

He had to tell her. He couldn't do this. She had to know before anything happened. She had to know before she married Pete. Just in case. He wouldn't lose that chance again.

"If tomorrow never comes  
Will she know how much I loved her  
Did I try in every way to show her every day  
That she's my only one  
And if my time on earth were through  
And she must face this world without me  
Is the love I gave her in the past  
Gonna be enough to last  
If tomorrow never comes."

He got up. He had to tell her. He walked to the door. She had to know. He opened the door. She couldn't live without knowing anymore. He walked out the door. He needed to let her know. He walked to the elevator. He had to let her know how much he felt for her. He walked down the corridor…………

"So tell that someone that you love."

He got to her door. She opened. He looked at her. There were tear stains on her face. She looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot. She had to know. He had to tell her. Tears poured down her face. He looked her in the eyes. "I…." he took her in his arms and she held on with all her strength.

"Just what you're thinking of."

"I love you."

"If tomorrow never comes."

**Author's Notes – **Good enough? Not good enough? Let me know so I can write another chapter if I have to.


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